It seems like I’m constantly in a state of transition. But when I'm not progressing, the stagnation leads to feelings of depression, so I always prefer to endure the discomfort of growing pains. It's pain that I can reconcile. It's pain that I can justify.
I'm launching this blog to chronicle my ongoing metamorphosis and the ones that are destined to transpire.
To rediscover my writing voice, create a community for those who share similar struggles, vent, release, ponder, and provide guidance on topics I'm frequently questioned about but unprepared to answer in the moment: that’s the por qué.
Como? Like everything else. A little research. Much faith. A little strategy. Many emotions.
As for the quien:
family and ways to cherish and cultivate a nurturing household;
friends and watering your tribe, frenemies and interpreting their frenemy behavior; frogs (feeble regressors oppressing girls' and women's self-worth/ fragile rapacious-preying-rogues gutting girls for their own savior, etc.)
and how to avoid them.
And self: care, motivation, worth, and growth.
We're talking about living our best life.
We're talking about beautiful imperfection.
We're talking about vision, focus, and bag.
And we're talking about recovery.
I live in a small city in Germany. I was born and raised in NYC (the Bronx). I moved to Europe in 2016 to complete a graduate program for my music degree. The city I now live in, while very pretty, doesn't offer much in the way of opportunities for musicians and artists, support for innovative creativity, collaboration opportunities and is generally very safe... in every way.
I'll let you do the math.
I’d be a wild lil platano to dive into this blog without acknowledging the stultifying effect resulting from this situation and how it has pushed me to seek alternative forms of self-expression.
Music is my primary medium, but the rate at which I can produce proper records cannot keep up with all I NEED to release and everything I want to share. So I've realized I need subsidiary channels.
And you may be wondering: why haven't I moved?
Starting a family with my partner has been a positive experience. We're blessed with a daughter, and having his family close by has been beneficial for all of us. The significance of family cannot be overstated. This is why we're still here.
Now, we have begun the process of relocating to a bigger city. And I am in the process of a new metamorphosis.
Join me on my journey... to reconnect with words, investigate common inquiries, and flirt with profound ones—those that are beyond my control. Because the former build community and the latter provide solace and companionship in a sometimes too big and lonely world.
I leave you with one arguably unpopular opinion for my first entry:
Be selfish.
Now, I don’t mean selfishness at the expense of others. I'm referring to healthy selfishness. It involves prioritizing your needs and desires over those of others, which in turn helps the universe support you in reaching your goals and helping you pour love into your relationships. It's not hocus pocus. Mindset is powerful. The more we understand this, the better we can adjust our mindset as necessary to accomplish the tasks needed for success. It's that simple. Not easy, but simple. While external factors shouldn't be dismissed, let's be real for one second: unless the circumstances are extreme, many of us (myself included... I'm working on it) often hold ourselves back due to limiting beliefs, fear, guilt, martyr complexes, or worst of all, being overly concerned about others' opinions.
“Modern culture is pervaded by a taboo on selfishness. It teaches that to be selfish is sinful and that to love others is virtuous.” In his essay, Fromm argues that this cultural taboo has had the unfortunate consequence of making people feel guilty to show themselves healthy self-love, which he defines as the passionate affirmation and respect for one’s own happiness, growth, and freedom. (Kaufmann & Jauk, 2020)
Think about what is watering you and what is draining you. Are you happy? Are you resentful? Do you have nothing left to give to those you love? Are you doing the things that make you feel fulfilled? Fuck what they think. What do you think? Fuck what they want. What do you want?
Be selfish...
about your goals;
your time;
your space;
your participation in certain conversations and presence in certain spaces;
your words;
your precious energy... a finite resource.
We are not just surviving. We are thriving. Let's act accordingly. Let's build ourselves up so we can uplift others and love them for real, shape our futures, and fully reap the benefits of this gift that is life.
Be selfish.
Not rude... selfish.
Not conniving... selfish.
Not hard... selfish.
The word is not inherently bad..
It's like fat.
There's good fat; there's bad fat.
We love avocados and they're also healthy for us in moderation.
Ay.
Let your heart smile.
You're worthy simply because you exist and that is honestly all the validation you need.
Love Leti x
See you next week, fuegitos.
Citations
Kaufmann, S.B. & Jauk, Emanuel. "Healthy Selfishness and Pathological Altruism: Measuring Two Paradoxical Forms of Selfishness," 21 May. 2020, https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.01006/full
Newman, Tim. "Types of fat: Can fat be good for you?", 30 May. 2023,
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